People have a lot of issues - and I am one of them. There are days that I feel happy and some days I feel like I'm so worthless. Am I crazy? Well, I guess a little bit - isn't everyone? My friends tell me this feeling is the 'BURNT OUT' feeling - I ask them how they know - they reply with 'Parang ganyan ang burn out eh!' How come I didn't see it coming?
I feel pressured - not because I am being pressured but because of the things I feel that I need to do since I'm the eldest (daughter). I need to be responsible enough, good enough, organized enough - that sometimes - it's so tiring. Why can't the other be more responsible? Why do I need to worry about him? The answer - because I'm his elder sister - and I can't help but feel responsible, I spoil him at times - but where do I draw the line? I'm just a sister, not a parent. Do you get my drift? I feel like it's a lost cause, but the thing that I hate most is that - the fact that I can't get over it! Argh... I hate the feeling!! Dammit!
There are days I wake up happy - then there are days I wake up feeling sad or that the day will go bad one way or another. As a result - I've started praying whenever I wake up - and it helps - for some reason - it helps me a lot! I never thought that I'd be like this 'prayerful' I never expected it to happen, it just did. I'm what you call - Catholic-following person - I pray, I admit I'm Catholic - but I seldom go to Mass. I feel that one should go to Mass wholeheartedly - and not because you need to. Whenever I go to Mass - I see people sleeping, chatting and not listening - what's the point? You want God to see you present? WTF right?! But, let's not get too much into that topic - that's another good blog entry - hehehe!! Anyways, I learned from watching PBBCE (Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Edition) thru Coney Reyes - she mentioned that every morning before her day starts - she prays 'Please give me strength, and all that I need to get through the day' - I have been doing this everyday - and the result - I've become more peaceful somehow.
Praying and prayers help. They help a lot! :)