Skip to main content

Doubts and Fears

Yesterday afternoon, I accompanied my Panget's SIL (Sis-in Law) and cutie niece to Landmark to buy a few things. Ellie, my Panget's niece is the most mabait 2 year old that I have ever met! She doesn't throw tantrums, she listens to what we say and most of all, she knows how to compromise!! :) She doesn't run around the mall, she just follows us around - although there are moments where she goes astray - like wanting to ride the escalator! and sitting on a huge palanggana and watching people do their normal shopping and looking around - but overall, she's such a sweetheart to watch over, no complaints!

When we got home to SIL's house - I saw how she took care of her 2 kids, and I thought to myself - in a few years, I will be like her! But I'm honestly afraid, SIL is one of the most considerate, most caring, most loving people I know and me? Well, I honestly think I am sorta selfish - although I have a good heart, I don't know - there are doubts, doubts that say 'Can I be like this and that? Can I sacrifice for this and that? I don't know!! Doubts and fears slowly creeping back in!!

I am amazed on how she manages to share her time with her kids, husband and family! To think that its only been a week since they came back from the US (she gave birth there) - she's somehow adjusted. I ask myself - can I do the same? I really don't know. I even had this thought while we were chaging Krissy (the newest addition to their family - she's turning a month old on the 30th) that I am NOT ready to be a mother anytime soon! I think I will have crying spells in case people pressure(parinig parinig!!) me to have kids soon! I don't know if I will ever be ready - waaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

As they say - one step at a time...
(it took me THIS long to take this huge leap.. dahan dahan lang!)

No double stepping please! I repeat - NO double stepping!!
Labels:

Comments

  1. test111May 26, 2009 9:51 AM

    If you start asking yourself these questions, there's no doubt in my mind you'd make a good mom.

    Kasi ngayon pa nga lang you worry about what you'd be like and if you can do it...meaning, you are already challenging yourself. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. BETWEEN BITESMay 26, 2009 4:56 PM

    I agree with Mindy dear. Being that concerned this early is good.

    It's just an anxiety that's making you jittery. The love of your mom for you will be the same if not more love you are going to give your kid.

    and YES, that's still a bit of a long shot for now. Get through the wedding first. and PLEASE, no pressure from friends or family or society that after a wedding, within 2 years, you should be preggers. Enjoy your honeymoon stage and when things are meant to be, it will unfold...

    Love,
    Jane
    BETWEEN BITES
    http://www.janedchua.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. MabelMay 27, 2009 8:27 AM

    hi. you have a nice blog. I am also sure that you will be a great mom and wife someday as you are already contemplating about that this early.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Breastfeeding Mama!

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (July). For this month, we join the National Nutrition Council - Department of Health in celebrating Nutrition Month with the theme "Isulong ang Breastfeeding - Tama, Sapat at EKsklusibo!" Participants will share their experiences in promoting breastfeeding or their tips on how breastfeeding should be promoted. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants." When I got pregnant, I knew instantly that I would be breastfeeding my baby.  My mom found it odd that I decided to breastfeed - this was because I grew up formula fed.  My twin brother and I were given formula since birth, there was no attempt whatsoever to breastfeed.  In fact my mom recounted that she was given medicine to stop the milk production.  My pedia, Dr. Joy Ty-Sy said that during my mom's time (when she had us) it was the boom of formulas, that it was the trend that time.  I grew up with formula, my c
17 comments
Read more

ANSON SUPERMARKET - Grocery delivery!!

Sharing is caring, so we can't keep it a secret any longer.  THIS is where we get out groceries!  Well, Anson Supermarket has been where we have been purchasing all of our kids' diapers!  From Kailee to Connor to Shobe!  Yes, yes, yes! A week into the lockdown, it just occurred to us that we can get our groceries from them - but then we thought, we didn't want to force them to do it - after all it's a different time now.  But when we asked and they said yes, it was like we won the lottery.  We sent out our list - a very VERY SPECIFIC list and voila after a day or two (we weren't in a rush) they told us to schedule a pick up.  Please remember that I am sharing this with you guys because I believe so much in the saying 'sharing is caring'.  Please be mindful of your language and respect those who will call or message you about your orders.  Also note that some items might NOT be available - so manage your expectations.   They're a full functioning
9 comments
Read more

#CookingQuest: Winter Melon Soup ala Didi #EnhancedCommunity

One of the things that gets ooohs and aaaahs in a chinese restaurant is the #WinterMelonSoup.   You may ask why?  Well because with this soup, restaurants use the winter melon itself as a huge bowl to serve the soup!  It's a sight to see as you'll be amazed how they were able to pull it off.  You'll see the whole winter melon, and then suddenly they're take out the top part and when you peek in, the soup is inside together with meat bits and other veggies!  My mom has tried it at home, and I remember her being nervous that the winter melon doesn't break apart, kunde sira ang presentation! So during this #EnhancedCommunityQuarantine, I chanced upon Theo's Farm that they have winter melon, so I ordered.  When I saw it - I knew I wouldn't be able to pull off the carving and serving the winter melon.  It actually made the preparation easier.  I had to ask my mom, and she told me to steam the winter melon to soften it.  Honestly, I don't think I can w
4 comments
Read more