Skip to main content

When your brain - FREEZES

I'm proud to say that this doesn't happen often.  Hahaha!  Ang yabang ko, but seriously - I think this has happened very few times.  But then, ever since what happened - there are moments that I pause or space out.  The most recent brain freeze story is when we travelled last week.

Image grabbed from THIS page


I don't like doing things the last minute.  I usually prepare at least more than a week ahead, more often that not - I prepare 2 weeks before a trip.  This gives me more than enough time to anticipate whatever it is that I missed or forgot, a game plan sort of.  But for this trip - I planned it just a few days ahead.  I kept postponing the planning, thinking it was still far away.  I can't fully explain why - but I guess my mind and heart were somewhere else.  There were far more things that I was worried about and needed my attention more.  I thought to myself that I can probably wing it.  Hahaha!  It honestly did not occur to me that we were traveling - soon, it was only when I received an email on the travel did I realize that it was the following week already.  Apparently, there was a reason why I do things early.  Anyone who knows me, know that I prepare very well (even for out of town trips), as in very well.

I was left to plan what to do and bring - in less than a week.  I wasn't prepared.  It was literally a photo finish for this trip.  Really.  I wasn't used to this.  I wasn't prepared - mentally.  Brain FREEZE literally.

When we got to the check-in counter, I realized that we forgot Kailee's hand carry stuff.  Her extra clothes, hair clips, brush and etc., her water bottle, her milk bottle, her snacks, and most importantly - her medicines!  I tried to call the driver - but to no avail.  I couldn't believe I forgot it.  It was a good thing that the place we were going to, I was very familiar with.  I was worried about the medicines, since you can't easily buy medicines in a foreign land.  I just prayed that Kailee be blessed with perfect health during the trip.  While on the plane, Kailee kept asking for her snacks and water bottle!  I said sorry so many times because I forgot them!  Kailee was very understanding, which was surprising.  She would usually throw a fit because it was very early in the morning!  We had a close call though, when I let her play in the bath tub!  After bathing, she started coughing and then she said she wasn't feeling well - uh oh!  It was a good thing that there was a 24/7 supermarket nearby - so I ran and bought some meds.  I was clueless honestly because I couldn't understand what they were for!  Then I saw Panadol for children and I immediately got a small box.  I have to be honest, the only thing I know to give kids when they have fever is Tempra (Paracetamol) so when I saw the generic name of Panadol, I was skeptical - but then, I had no choice right?  It was a wonderful thing that the tablet was chewable, a lifesaver!  Then for her allergies, I just have her a small bit of my allergy medicine.  I know, I'm a bad mother for forgetting - but please give me a break, I wasn't my normal self.  Please don't judge.

Then my Panget likes his morning coffee strong, thus we always bring coffee with us.  The ones given on for free in the rooms don't suffice.  I pack them every single time.  But this time, while in the plane, it suddenly occurred to me that I forgot to bring it.  Sigh.  Another spaced out moment.  It was nice though that the lady in who was in charge of cleaning our room is very nice.  She gave me extra coffee.  I was really running on pure luck this trip!

I was really out of the loop and my mind was somewhere else.  I was telling my Panget, this wasn't me.  He just looked at me and said that I was going through something that's why my mind wasn't that concentrated on things.  I agree.  My mind is in shambles, well not really - but you know what I mean?  I am not yet 100% back - I'm still struggling somehow - trying to keep up with what should be done and what should not be done.  Confusing really.

When we got to our destination - I realized that I forgot something else.  My *hotdog* pillow that I bring with me ANYWHERE.  I forgot it.  I didn't get to pack it in.  That pillow has been with me since I was a baby - and it went with me wherever I went.  I brought it with me when I studied in Beijing.  I bring it on short and long vacations.  I never left home without it, and this is the first time EVER that I forgot it.  I missed it very much to be honest.  But what was I to do?  I forgot it.

So, this is what happens when your brain FREEZES.  This is how the mind works.  Strange really, but now I have a better understanding of why there are people who can't function 100% when they are going through something.  The brain is attached to some sort of emotion that can't fully make you function like before.  Is it a chemical reaction?  A chemical imbalance?  God only knows what that is.
Right now, I'm still in the process of getting back to where I used to be.  I can't seem to shake of the *what ifs* in my life because of what happened.  But readers have been very comforting in telling me to hang in there and that things will get better.  I know it will get better, but I'm not hurrying it up.  Time will tell.  But right now, I'm okay - doing good.  Hanging there.  I will forever appreciate the concern and well wishes.  I will still want hugs and smiles.

But there is one thing - the feeling of loss, that I think will never ever leave me.  To be honest, I think I was scarred for life.  I think I will take this with me, forever.  I will be physically okay, but mentally - I think it will be a constant.

Has something like this happened to you?


Comments

  1. I'm usually all over the place everyday. The only time I am 100% mentally present is when I'm working. So now na wala, eh di sabaw

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Allow yourself to be sad and your brain to freeze once in a while..

    There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is so apt and nice!!

      Thank you L!!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Breastfeeding Mama!

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (July). For this month, we join the National Nutrition Council - Department of Health in celebrating Nutrition Month with the theme "Isulong ang Breastfeeding - Tama, Sapat at EKsklusibo!" Participants will share their experiences in promoting breastfeeding or their tips on how breastfeeding should be promoted. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants." When I got pregnant, I knew instantly that I would be breastfeeding my baby.  My mom found it odd that I decided to breastfeed - this was because I grew up formula fed.  My twin brother and I were given formula since birth, there was no attempt whatsoever to breastfeed.  In fact my mom recounted that she was given medicine to stop the milk production.  My pedia, Dr. Joy Ty-Sy said that during my mom's time (when she had us) it was the boom of formulas, that it was the trend that time.  I grew up with formula, my c

ANSON SUPERMARKET - Grocery delivery!!

Sharing is caring, so we can't keep it a secret any longer.  THIS is where we get out groceries!  Well, Anson Supermarket has been where we have been purchasing all of our kids' diapers!  From Kailee to Connor to Shobe!  Yes, yes, yes! A week into the lockdown, it just occurred to us that we can get our groceries from them - but then we thought, we didn't want to force them to do it - after all it's a different time now.  But when we asked and they said yes, it was like we won the lottery.  We sent out our list - a very VERY SPECIFIC list and voila after a day or two (we weren't in a rush) they told us to schedule a pick up.  Please remember that I am sharing this with you guys because I believe so much in the saying 'sharing is caring'.  Please be mindful of your language and respect those who will call or message you about your orders.  Also note that some items might NOT be available - so manage your expectations.   They're a full functioning

#CookingQuest: Winter Melon Soup ala Didi #EnhancedCommunity

One of the things that gets ooohs and aaaahs in a chinese restaurant is the #WinterMelonSoup.   You may ask why?  Well because with this soup, restaurants use the winter melon itself as a huge bowl to serve the soup!  It's a sight to see as you'll be amazed how they were able to pull it off.  You'll see the whole winter melon, and then suddenly they're take out the top part and when you peek in, the soup is inside together with meat bits and other veggies!  My mom has tried it at home, and I remember her being nervous that the winter melon doesn't break apart, kunde sira ang presentation! So during this #EnhancedCommunityQuarantine, I chanced upon Theo's Farm that they have winter melon, so I ordered.  When I saw it - I knew I wouldn't be able to pull off the carving and serving the winter melon.  It actually made the preparation easier.  I had to ask my mom, and she told me to steam the winter melon to soften it.  Honestly, I don't think I can w