I'm a SCARED parent.. Help!

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Since being a mom some two years ago, I suddenly developed a fear of some sort.  Fear that my kids will get sick, fear of hurting themselves, fear that my kids will be bullied, fear of so many many other things.  I have this idea in my head that I am to protect them, at all cost.  Am I paranoid or too protective?

Kailee turned two early this year.  A lot of people have been asking me if she's already in pre-school, I tell them no, because I feel that she's too young.  That's only one of the reasons why I don't want her to go to school early - because I feel that she's too young (I attended pre-school at 4 and I turned out okay), another thing is that I hear that kids who attend pre-school get sick more often.  I also hear of incidents where kids hurt one another - and I don't want that to happen to Kailee.

The bully-ing issue has been up and about in the last few years.  I think it's just now, that the problem is being dealt with.  I guess then, the school, parents and society were all in denial that it has been happening here in our country.  To address this bully-ing problem, my Panget and I agreed that when Kailee starts to go to school, we'd teach her how to fight back.  My inlaws don't agree to this, but my Panget and I do, because she needs to learn how to defend herself when the situation calls for it.  I'm sure some would say 'why retailiate?'  well, for me - it would be better than just telling the proper authorities and wait for their 'investigation' that would take, weeks?  But that's just me.  I'm not saying that my style is right, but I am hoping that this will work for me eventually.

Recently, I learned of a friend's daughter being a punching bag by another kid in their pre-school.  Mind you this pre-school is quite a prestigious one, and I am surprised that their unofficial statement was that 'it was an accident'.  But can accidents happen repeatedly?  This incident makes me think twice, thrice, quadruple times whether I'd like to send my child to pre-school at all.  I've become skeptical - and then, this morning I read another blogger's post on her daughter bruising her chin and the teacher claiming it was an accident.  Its gets so discouraging reading those kinds of posts, I won't hide the fact that I'm not affected.  I won't pretend that it's okay when its not.  So there - I am honestly AFRAID - of what may happen.  I felt really bad after seeing and reading these incidents - I get so affected with these incidents - maybe because I am a parent myself.  Am I strange?

Pre-school doesn't come cheap, so when I hear stories like these, it makes me wonder - why the hell does that (still) happen, in a pre-school - A PRE-SCHOOL?  Where apparently, the kids to teacher ratio is small?  Don't they have precautions or SOP on how to deal with these things?  I always had the impression that kids require more sets of eyes in a classroom - but I guess, I was wrong.

So, there - am I an abnormal parent for being afraid?  For being too protective?  Am I stalling my child's progress with my fear?  Ah, I'm so confused..

Help?

3 comments :

  1. We all encounter the same fear as parents... and unfortunately, the anxiety doesn't go away even as our kids get older. My eldest is already in high school, but I still have major concerns. Issues like pre-marital sex, peer pressure, etc. which makes my worries when they were younger seem trivial. But no matter how hard we try, we can't always be there to help them, kaya prayers lang talaga.

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  2. Hi Tina! Thanks for replying. I really appreciate it. I don't know why I'm so affected with the situation, considering these kids are just kids of my friends lang. Naisip ko tuloy, I'm such a drama Mama! But thank you for telling me that my feeling scared is normal.

    Now that I'm a parent myself, I now understand why my mom was sort of strict on me (especially me) when I was growing up. Am I weird to say na I'm thankful that she was strict on me? I just hope that in the years to come, Kailee would appreciate my strictness to her.

    Thank you again, Tina!!

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  3. Tina is right Di, we can't always be there for them. As much as I want to, I don't want to be a helicopter mom, kids still need independence for their own good. Madali sabihin no? Pero kahit ako I can't do it sometimes.

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