Rollercoaster week..

The week started out kinda rough- I had a feeling that things will be a little shaky, but I was very optimistic. For the first time ever, I broke down (like never before) I cried buckets (and buckets), I was able to let out my frustrations, anger and sama ng loob. I don't think I've ever broken down like this - I mean, I'm a cry-baby, my tears are so mababaw - but last week - they couldn't stop from falling! Yikes!

I felt so bad and confused - I considered giving up. I thought to myself that I did not deserve to be treated that way, but then again - who was I to say that right? I always remember the saying 'What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger' As brutal as it is - I feel that its the most truthful saying, ever! I thought that things would be smooth sailing, I felt initial bumps right after last year's 'big' event - but as the days and months passed, the bumps became deeper and potholes were everywhere. Some trivial, some well - crying session worthy.

In the end, there are still hurt feelings - I feel better though, since I was able to cry it all out. But still, there's something. I don't know why.

I was able to meet with two new designers. Designer2 was well, pretty popular - but there was no 'click' I was actually irritated because when I called to make an appointment, I made sure that he was free - it turns out, 30 minutes after our appointment - he was meeting another client. Great right? When we sat down, he didn't even ask me what kind of gown I wanted - he just started drawing. For fear that he will sketch an out of this world dress, I immediately declared that I didn't want anything flashy - the simplier the better. When he heard that, his face fell - it fell so much to make me notice it fall! I quickly sent a text message to my friend KI that I kinda did not 'feel' him, but KI told me to give him a chance. And I did. After browsing through 2-3 wedding magazines and non-stop talking for about 5-10 minutes, he was able to show me a sketch. The front was just so-so, but the back was amazing! It was beautiful! But there's a catch - the dress is not easy to move around with. Points down.. After showing me my sketch, he made KI one - I loved the sketch, the look was so modern and I'm sure KI will be fabulous in the dress! His quote was very reasonable, his assisstant even said that the price is still negotiable. The next day, I got a really odd message from Designer2's staff - it said that he was able to sketch some more dresses for my entourage! Hmmm... Makes me wonder why?!

Last Saturday was so much fun! For the first time in my entire life - I was able to take out the car for more than 12 hours! Yehaaaa!! KI was super nice to accompany me to meet with Desinger1B and Designer3. KI and I both liked Designer1A - he was so bubblu and fun! I can't explain why, but I felt really comfy with him AND the best part - he was the only ONE who got and understood what kind of dress I wanted. He is so animated - and I knew (after the first meeting) that it was him that I wanted to make my dress - the only problem was - the price. Great right? Well, let's see. I am crossing my fingers, making double cross legs and even crossing all my fingers - wishing and hoping that luck will be on my side. I really want Designer1B!! Waaaaaaaaaaah!! :)

Designer3 was such a fun person to talk to - he was very warm and friendly. The only problem was (like) Designer2 - he was famous for heavy beading and flashy gowns. To be very frank - it's so NOT me. I don't like beads - I don't want to be sun shiny on my special day! He was nice enough to sketch while we were swapping stories. His package is the most affordable of all the desginers I met, great right?! Well, yeah- sure, I mean if I'm the type who likes to have so much 'bling' on my dress! But in fairness, he is such a sweetheart, I don't mind getting him. Hahaha!! :)

KI was the one who suggested that we go on a 'spa' treat. To relieve stress and tension. She told me that one of our Bikram Yoga instructors recommended Spa 6750. When I heard it, I automatically assumed that the massages and spa treatments were going to be pricey. KI said that there was an on-going promo of 30% discount for all treatments before 7:30pm. Despite that being said - a Php1,000.00+ massage is still too expensive for me. But what the hell, I needed to de-stress. We both decided to get the Nordic Express massage. Let me just say - during the 1st few minutes - I was getting skeptical. But when I told myself to enjoy the massage - I freaking did! It was the best Php 1,200.00+ I've ever spent for a maasge! It felt so wonderful! Though the strokes were not as 'hard' the massage felt sooooooo great!! I loved it!! I am definitely trying it again!! Thanks KI and Cristina for the recommendation! It surely was the highlight of my Saturday. Yey!! :)

You see, last week - emotions were both high and low, tears flowed, good and harsh words were said. Such a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I hope that this will be the first and only 'rollercoaster week' I will be having. I am not prepared! Hahaha....