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Love and Hate (and some other things...)

Two of the most contradicting of words.

Why do they always go together?

Why are they exact opposites?

You see, I love my mom, my twin, my Panget, my friends and some other people so much but sometimes - I want to wring all their necks till they turn blue!

I wonder - why does one ever feel the hate and anger towards people they love?

Isn't it ironic?

Now that I'm nearing my big day.. Emotions are high, I've become easily irritable. I snap at the littlest of things. I feel the pressure. What then was not discussed is now being discussed. What was deemed simple then is now the most complicated!

There are times that I feel that - this is not my big day. Almost everyone has an opinion on something. Things that should be done by others are often times dumped into my lap - and I am expected to give a solution or a reply or even a decision, but take note! That decision will soon be overturned - so why in the effing first place ask me about it, right? There are moments that I feel suffocated - times that I feel like I'm drowning with something I can't explain - that I need to jump for air! There are times when I think - is this all going to be worth it? Sigh..

I feel like I'm on an unending rollercoaster, going up and down - twisting and turning every so often without taking a break. Do you sometimes feel like puking with the pressure of emotions? Hahaha!! I never thought I'd get to this point, really. I always thought that planning a wedding was a breeze and that the journey was a happy enjoyable one. At this point, when people ask me how my planning is coming along - I try not to burst into tears - give out a Kodak smile and say that its getting there.

I also realized that people aren't that helpful (or bright even!) That I have to ask for help for it to come. That there is really a difference between peoples.

The journey is about to end. I've found new friends, made new realizations, accepted many situations, sought a blind eye, pretended not to hear or know, ignored comments and tactless gestures.

Question is... Will there ever be an end to this?

P.S. Sorry for the post, I just needed to get it all out. I needed a release! It's been building up inside and I'm afraid to breakdown. But I feel I may have to, just to get this all out.

I miss blogging.. Hahaha!! (what an ender... toink!)
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Comments

  1. test111July 10, 2009 7:22 PM

    I wanna give you a hug Di. {{Didi}}

    That's all I can do. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 11, 2009 8:22 PM

    You'll be okay...hang in there!

    your tokayo,
    Candice

    ReplyDelete
  3. frannywannyJuly 12, 2009 12:08 AM

    *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  4. DidiJuly 12, 2009 11:21 PM

    @Mindy - I will ask for that hug on the big day!!

    @Anonymous - Tukayo! Thanks ah!!

    @frannywanny - I NEED a hug badly!! Serious hug and not the virtual one ah!!

    ReplyDelete

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