#SundaySeries: Being present in Prayer

I'll start a #SundaySeries sharing my thoughts on Sunday Mass' Homily.

I have been regularly hearing Mass every Sunday since 2007. I started consciously going because I found hearing Mass every Sunday calming. It has made me realize that praying really helps. I know I'm not an all good person, but I try my best to be. And I feel that having this relationship with God has helped me become a better person.

Today's homily was very nice. It was long, but I didn't notice the time because I was listening intently. I have to be honest, there are priests who give really good and meaningful homilies and there are others who don't. But I'm sure they all are trying their best, and I appreciate them all for it.

Well, this Sunday - my take was to be present in prayer. I do pray, but my prayer is different. My prayer is usually about thanking God for the blessings every day. When I wake up, the first thing I do is say a prayer of thanks in my head. I thank God for waking up and then I start to enumerate what I am thankful for.

My relationship with God wasn't always like this. But I guess with age, it has matured. I always look at the silver lining in everything. I am not a saint, I too have been not so good to a number of people. I have wronged people, lied to them, hurt them, taken advantage of them and many more. I am not the best person, but I try my best to be correct whatever way I can. I am not perfect, my life is not perfect, I make mistakes, I make bad decisions, I get easily angry and upset, I am irritable, I lose patience, I judge and many more. I am not a goody goody, I am human.

But I try to be good. I admit to mistakes and ask forgiveness when I can. I try and help as much as I can when I can. I think I try to make good deeds to compensate for the not so good deeds that I have done.

Let me be honest, there are times that I feel so alone and my only respite is when I pray. When I am upset, I need to vent - and then I say a prayer to God and offer him all of what I am feeling. I release to Him everything I feel and I surrender to him. Whatever He wills, I will accept. Faith has helped me through the years. As cheesy as it sounds, do you know that I feel secure knowing that I have a holy rosary nearby? I clutch it when I need help.

So what is being present in prayer. Being present in prayer is to surrender to the Lord whatever it is you are feeling. I was always afraid to ask the Lord for specifics, because in my mind - who am I to ask of those particular things. But then I learned that I can ask. And so I ask.

My prayer today is Lord, THANK YOU for all the blessings that you have given me. Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you that I am still breathing and alive. Thank you for another chance to try and make You proud. Thank you for giving me a chance to show people that I can be good because I know You. I am very sorry for the people I have wronged and the sins that I will commit this week. Forgive me Lord for I do not know what I do. I would like to ask You Lord to listen to the prayers of everyone praying at this moment, for whatever their needs may be. Please listen to their prayers. Thank you again Lord, THANK YOU!

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